Movies, Film, and Chili

  Carved  is a Hulu horror film about a killer pumpkin. Justin Harding  wrote and directed the film. He remains largely unfamiliar with the horror genre, exhibiting a propensity for incorporating a multitude of distinctive characters, yet not necessarily focusing on numerous instances of terror or alarm. While I haven't seen any of his other works, his first impression doesn't stand out.  The film does have some stand-outs as Peyton Elizabeth Lee  who plays Kira in the film does carry her portion of the film. Matty Cardarope is someone I recognized since he was in Stranger Things and Free Guy . He plays a stereotypical pothead. Also, I hadn't seen DJ Qualls  since I first saw him in The New Guy, he's aged so well for someone in their late forties. Chris Elliott  is also in the film, but every character he ever plays is just insufferable. He was Hanson  in Scary Movie. The film is almost so bad it's funny. Result: D

  Kung Fu Panda 4  is the fourth film in the Kung Fu Panda series. Director Mike Mitchell takes the reigns this time around. He had done Shrek Forever After, Monsters vs. Aliens, and Duece Bigalow: Male Gigolo . These films suggest why this film suffered but it's also because of the writers this time. I blame the political horn-shoeing and poor narrative plot points on Darren Kemke  who failed with the Goosebumps franchise, Shazam!, and most notably Gemini Man . While I have enjoyed Jack Black's  earlier films he has been phoning it in lately and has become a caricature of himself. Awkwafina  does her best to bring, what little this movie has to offer, towards a better place. While Viola Davis does a good job as The Chameleon  her poorly-written villain leaves her little to do. No female villain can just be evil they have to be misunderstood. This is the worst Kung Fu Panda hands down but still beats some of this year's stinkers. Result: C-

  The Garfield Movie  is about a cat and his canine friend who reunite with the cat's long-lost father. Mark Dindal  directed the film. You might remember him from directing Chicken Little  and the under-rated The Emperor's New Groove . While he hasn't a ton of directorial films he is better known for his visual effects. The screenplay has three credits, which is surprising since the writing is one of the worst aspects of the film. The lesser writers are  Paul A. Kaplan and Mark Targove  who wrote the George Lopez TV show. While David Reynolds is much better, having written Finding Nemo and Mulan. Chris Pratt plays Garfield and this isn't his first rodeo in voiceovers having voiced Mario  just last year. Samuel L. Jackson  who plays Vic  also has done voiceovers before doing Incredibles 1 + 2, and   Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank  two years ago. The best voice actor has got to be Cicily Strong who voices Marge Malone . She wa...

  IF  is a family film about imaginary friends. The film is written and directed by  John Krasinski . There are some issues with direction and animation but I'm sure the kids will overlook those. The writing can be a tad dark at times but I'm sure he meant well.  The main character is Bea  who is played by the young Cailey Fleming . You might recognize her as young Rey in Star Wars: The Force Awakens or as Judith Grimes from The Walking Dead. She has a lot of film to carry as a child actress and she does a swell job.  Ryan Reynolds  plays Cal  and adds a good deal of comedy with how straight he plays next to the different imaginary friends. Phoebe Waller-Bridge  does a bad job voicing over the insufferable  Blossom while Steve Carell does a great as the loveable Blue who is the purple monster. You might remember Carell  from The Office. The film suffers from being boring. Result: C+

  Smile 2  is the sequel to the 2022 horror film where a demon terrorizes you for seven days after you witness a brutal death. Parker Finn  is back to write and direct the film because of how well it did at the box office. These movies are cheap to make but I think this time around word of mouth won't put butts into seats. The formula is there and he does well to direct the film but the lack of scares really hurt the film for horror fans who will be disappointed. Naomi Scott  plays the main character Skye, but you might not recognize her since she looks so different than she did when she played Jasmine in the Disney live-action adaptation of Aladdin . She was better in Power Rangers  to be fair. Her acting has improved drastically since those two though. The film suffers from poor writing. It shows all the scary bits in the trailer and lingers on scenes that horror fans don't really pay to see. Also, there is a ton of product placement. Result: B-

  The First Omen is about an American woman who is sent to Rome to start her new life of service to the church and uncovers an evil conspiracy. It's also a prequel to The Omen from 1976. There are a lot of comparisons between this movie and Immaculate  which is another weird situation where two studios have the same idea and release movies around the same time. This has happened so many times in Hollywood. The film has a lot of political messages that are not subtle at all. Directed by Arkasha Stevenson , the film comes off the director's success with Channel Zero  which I enjoyed. The problem is that the film would have been better as a TV show. Nell Tiger Free  is a pretty actress but doesn't add a lot of depth to the role she played. Not that there was much to her in Stevenson's writing. You might remember her from Game of Thrones as Myrcella Baratheon. I'm sure she'll grow into her acting abilities once she gets a better coach. Another actor that doesn'...

  Unfrosted  is a comedy revolving around the invention of Pop-Tarts in 1963. Starring  Jerry Seinfeld, who also wrote and directed the film, it has a lot of goofy and tame humor. Most of the humor comes from looking at the 1960s through the lens of 2024 and how different it was back then. Some pop culture references, including Andy Warhol, John F. Kennedy, Walter Cronkite, Johnny Carson, and Tony the Tiger, are blown to extremes for comedy.  Jim Gaffigan and Amy Schumer  play rivals and despite having them throughout the film I found them tolerable where the actual comedy came from the supporting roles. Melissa McCarthy  also plays a prominent but also unfunny NASA food scientist.  The real comedy comes from Peter Dinklage, Christian Slate, Bill Burr, Dan Levy, Bobby Moynihan, Jach McBrayer, Kyle Dunnigan, Hugh Grant Mikey Day, Kyle Mooney, and Drew Tarver. The film does lack a lot of female comedians and the two they got weren't funny. They should ha...

  Am I Racist?  is a satire and mockumentary about the anti-racist movement in the USA. I had seen Justin Folk's  earlier movie called What is a Woman? and I enjoyed it, this didn't land as well and came across really as just a political statement. There is a tad bit of Borat in the film where Matt Walsh goes "undercover" where he just puts on a wig and wears tight jeans. The tagline of "A comedy to "D.E.I" for" didn't really land as I didn't really laugh. Matt Walsh is a conservative content creator for the Daily Wire. He tries to show how hypocritical some people are but at some point, the film just felt repetitive and didn't really have much to say. All of the paid interviews are very short for how much they spent to get them to speak. It also has a political lean which I expected but I didn't expect them to lean this hard into it. The film could have been structured better and had a better message. Result: C

  Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story  is a biography documentary from BAFTA award-nominated Ian Bonhôte. Ian Bonhôte is a Siwsh producer and director; this is the first film I've seen from him. The choice of when to use voice-overs versus when to show the speaker seemed off sometimes to show a marble and crystalized Superman statue. The flow of the film was great though in how it built up to his injury and eventual death. There are a lot of behind-the-scenes videos of Christopher Reeve  that I wasn't even born to see. I was almost 8 when the horse accident happened and so it was interesting to see this from the light of it happening as if it was right now. I was totally unaware how Robin Williams  and Jeff Daniels were friends with him and it only made Robin's loss more hurtful. His children really sold the idea of him as a father with Matthew, Will, and Alexandra who now run the paralyzed foundation. I was unaware of how their entire family was now i...

Bad Boys: Ride or Die  is the fourth installment of the buddy cop action comedy.  The film really suffers from pacing and transitions. Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah  who failed to give  Ms. Marvel any traction also directed the third film Bad Boys for Life . They haven't had any hits and have continued to put out flops it makes me wonder why they were chosen to direct the films. Will Smith phones it in even worse than in previous years and fails to capture his bad-boy attitude like he did in the past, especially with everything we know that's going on in his personal life it seems to be bleeding over into his acting. His timing on his comedy lines is really horrible while on the other hand, his partner is better than ever. Martin Lawrence  is put front and center in the film which is smart for the directors to do, but the writers gave him awful and unfunny lines. None of the writers are known for comedy, but Will Beall did write Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F. The o...

  Terrifier 3  is the latest installment of Damien Leone's  signature killer clown. Originally Damien Leone  was known for makeup and special practical effects, now he's known for giving the world Art the Clown. He continues to write and direct the film, and I'm glad he has yet to try to diversify the directorial and writing duties as the old saying goes, if it ain't broke don't fix it. He also did what I think everyone wanted with Elliott Fullam's  character and by the end of the film you might agree. David Howard Thornton looks like a normal dude without makeup on, but when he's put up to be Art he transforms. There is a lot of physical humor in the film this time around and he still needs to do all of this without speaking.  The film brings back Victoria from the first two films played by Samantha Scaffidi , she is dolled up with her grotesque mutilated face and has some horror and humor to herself as well. The biggest buy is how well Lauren LaVera has e...

  Joker: Folie à Deux is a comic book musical and sequel to the stand-out hit Joker starring Joaquin Phoenix .   I truly believe that Todd Phillips is trolling the comic book community with this film. It's weird, unwatchable at times, and nowhere near the first film. Even standing on its own without having the film be even considered a sequel it fails. It almost feels like WB was just paying him to make a sequel.  Joaquin Phoneix doesn't phone it in. He just does what he's supposed to do and delivers a performance. He and Lady Gaga are really the only saving grace. While her rendition of Harly Quinn is nowhere near what was expected for a Joker film she still had a memorable but trying performance. Characters you forgot about come back and a few new ones that don't leave any impact other than to just be there and in the film. You see Harvey Dent but there's nothing to his character, partly at fault for hiring a no-name actor in Harry Lawtey  who should stay on TV an...

  The Wild Robot is a DreamWorks science function adventure film based on the book series by the same name. Written and directed by Chris Sanders,  the film feels like what Disney used to put out. The writing hits on similar beats like his other work  Lilo & Stitch , The Croods, and How to Train Your Dragon.  There is a definite switch from climax one to climax two and I felt more invested in the later third of the film but not so much at the beginning. There was a tad bit of FurnGully's environmental message in the film but the main message of how to be a mother was front and center. Lipita Nyong'o had to carry the film with help from Pedro Pascal and the best cameo of Bill Nighy . She voiced the robot while Pascal  was the main supporting character of the fox Fink. I've grown tired of Pedro Pascal  but his deliveries were enough for me to ignore my bias'. The worst voice actor was Brightbill's Kit Conner  who must have some connection in Hollywoo...