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Anaconda (2025)


Anaconda (2025) is a reboot comedy of the 90s film, written and directed by Tom Gormican, who previously delivered the clever and self-aware The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. Unfortunately, that lightning does not strike twice. The core problem is simple. The jokes do not land. If horror films are judged by scares per minute, then comedies should be judged by laughs per minute, and this one delivers virtually none. Any humor that works was already burned in the trailer, leaving the film feeling empty and painfully drawn out.

Jack Black, known for School of Rock and Jumanji, leans heavily into his loud, chaotic persona, but here it becomes grating rather than charming. His performance feels unchecked and repetitive, as if volume alone is meant to substitute for comedy. Instead of elevating scenes, he often drains them of momentum.

Paul Rudd, who audiences know from Ant-Man and I Love You, Man, somehow comes off just as irritating. Rudd is usually likable even in weak material, but the script gives him nothing to work with beyond forced reactions and limp punchlines. His natural charm is buried under humor that feels tired and mechanical.

Steve Zahn, familiar from Saving Silverman and Dallas Buyers Club, plays intentionally stupid to an exhausting degree. What might have worked in small doses becomes overused, turning his character into a one-note distraction rather than comic relief.

Thandiwe Newton, known for Westworld and Crash, is oddly cast here. She looks great, but the costuming and character design work against her, making her feel completely out of place in the film’s tone. She is clearly capable of far more than what she is asked to do, which only makes her presence more puzzling.

By the end, the film feels less like a parody and more like a missed opportunity. The pacing drags, the humor is nonexistent, and boredom sets in quickly. For a comedy, that is the worst possible outcome. Result: D

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