Movies, Film, and Chili

Heart of the Beast is a dog movie that feels like it is trying very hard to make you cry. Brad Pitt spends most of the film channeling his inner Leonardo DiCaprio from The Revenant , playing a man struggling to make his way home through increasingly difficult circumstances. The problem is that the movie keeps pulling on the heartstrings so aggressively that it becomes obvious what emotion it wants from the audience. By the end, I was less emotionally invested and more ready for the movie to be over. Brad Pitt carries the entire film on his back, which is both its biggest strength and its biggest problem. He does a decent job with the material, but there is only so much he can do when the movie keeps pushing the emotional beats so hard. His performance is what keeps the film watchable, but it also makes it obvious how little there is around him. J.K. Simmons is technically in the movie, but only briefly. It is one of those appearances where you see a recognizable actor in the cast a...

The Stunt Driver feels more like a passion project than a comedy or even a drama. There is enough here to get me into the theater, but not enough to keep me from checking the time during its 99-minute runtime. Even at that length, the movie feels like it is constantly waiting for the big jump to happen instead of actually giving us something interesting along the way. Writer/director Michael Dowse is clearly a Canadian patriot, but he needs to remember that most of his audience isn't Canadian. There is nothing wrong with being proud of where you come from, but the movie spends so much time leaning into that pride that it becomes difficult for anyone outside of Canada to connect with it. Goon worked because it had a much better script. The Stunt Driver needed to be written by someone who actually understands comedy and knows how to build jokes around the characters instead of simply expecting the premise to carry the movie. Jay Baruchel does a decent job in the lead, but he isn...

Buzzkill is a slasher that suffers from overacting, cringe dialogue, and characters who are almost impossible to take seriously. The first victim is supposed to be college-aged, but the actress looks like she is clearly in her thirties, which makes the setup immediately distracting. The movie also constantly makes references that feel like even the actors have no idea what they are actually talking about. It gives the impression that the writers wanted the characters to sound clever without bothering to make their dialogue feel natural. Siena Agudong gives off obvious final girl vibes, and she has the presence to carry that role. The problem is her character is so annoying that it becomes difficult to understand why everyone around her treats her with such reverence. The movie seems determined to convince us that this character is far more likable and important than her actual personality suggests, which makes the character development feel completely backwards. The writing also ends...

Primetime is directed by Lance Oppenheim , who is known for making some other pretentious movies, and unfortunately that reputation feels right at home here. The film offers an interesting look behind the scenes of a television production, but it spends far too much time trying to be artsy and meaningful instead of simply telling its story. Robert Pattinson is easily the best part of the movie. His character is completely Chris Hansen in both voice and mannerisms, which makes his performance unintentionally hilarious at times. Even so, Pattinson fully commits to the role and gives the film some much needed personality. The biggest problem is that the movie never really wraps up his story, making all that investment in his character feel strangely incomplete. Skyler Gisondo gets the unfortunate distinction of being the character we ultimately end on. His character feels like a self-insert, especially with how frequently he brings up the musical Rent . Instead of giving the ending th...

The Dog Stars is directed by Ridley Scott , which certainly gives the post-apocalyptic film some serious filmmaking pedigree. Unfortunately, the movie starts off very, very slow, taking its time before it really gives the audience much to latch onto. Once it gets going, though, the performances help carry it, particularly the natural charm of its lead. Jacob Elordi brings a lot of charm to the film, which is especially important considering how slow the story develops. His presence gives the movie some much needed vibe and makes it easier to stay invested in the character even when the pacing is dragging. He's continuing to improve his performances even after Frankenstein. Josh Brolin continues to prove that he can make a strong impression in supporting roles. Much like his work in Weapons , he brings a level of confidence and presence that helps elevate the scenes he is in. He may not be the main focus of the movie, but he is one of those actors who can make a supporting role f...

Labyrinth is an anime film about a girl's dreams of stardom turning into a mission to save the planet from brainrot. It is directed by Shôji Kawamori , who has been involved with the Macross franchise since the 1980s and also worked in the art department on the original Ghost in the Shell , so he is definitely a veteran of Japanese animation. Writer Taichi Hashimoto is not nearly as well known, but if Kawamori liked the script enough to turn it into a movie, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, the premise feels like it should be more universally entertaining than it actually is. The only voice actor I immediately recognized was Tomokazu Sugita , who has been in an enormous number of anime and games. You might recognize him as Gyomei from Demon Slayer or Yusuke Kitagawa from Persona 5 . He brings the kind of recognizable voice presence you'd expect from someone with such an extensive resume, although there was not really a performance that ...

Practical Magic 2 is directed by Susanne Bier , who previously worked with Sandra Bullock on Bird Box . The film brings back the Owens sisters, with Sandra Bullock  and Nicole Kidman returning. Sally is still the more grounded and tightly wound of the two, while Gillian remains a little more aloof and unpredictable. Unfortunately, the movie struggles with pacing, and there are several moments where the suspension of disbelief starts to wear thin. Sandra Bullock returns as Sally and continues to fit naturally into the role. Sally's more serious personality provides a good contrast to Gillian, and Bullock still has the presence to make the character enjoyable to watch. Her chemistry with Nicole Kidman remains one of the more important parts of the movie, especially because the two sisters have such different personalities. Nicole Kidman returns as Gillian, bringing the same more carefree and aloof personality that separates her from Sally. Kidman seems comfortable stepping back...

Return to Silent Hill is written and directed by Christophe Gans , who also directed the original Silent Hill and, oddly enough, the French Beauty and the Beast . Unfortunately, the film has problems almost immediately, with questionable directorial choices that make it difficult to get fully invested. It is obvious that Gans has a great deal of respect for the source material, and there are moments where that appreciation comes through, but respecting the game and adapting it effectively are two different things. The film often feels too concerned with recreating what was already there rather than figuring out what works best for a movie. Jeremy Irvine , known for War Horse and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again , plays the iconic James Sunderland and unfortunately struggles with the performance. He goes over the top in several scenes, and some of his line deliveries are so unnatural that I found myself wondering why they were not simply redone. James is supposed to be an emotionally com...

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die is directed by Gore Verbinski and written by Matthew Robinson , who clearly has never been in a classroom. He writes students and teachers through the lens of what social media portrays them as rather than how they actually behave. The movie is trying to build character development, but it's clear within the first five seconds who these people are. Instead of letting the plot move forward, the movie spends way too much time developing characters that didn't need nearly that much development. As a teacher, I found myself rolling my eyes, both metaphorically and literally, more times than I could count. The message is front and center throughout the movie, and no amount of talent can really distract from the bad writing. It isn't until around the twenty-minute mark that the movie finally gets back to the actual plot. By that point, the unnecessary character development and side stories have already dragged things down. The movie clearly wa...

Resident Evil (2026) is written and directed by Zach Cregger , who previously directed Barbarian and Weapons . Cregger brings a strong understanding of tension and horror to the film, relying heavily on jump scares, drawn-out suspense, and carefully executed moments of terror. The movie also contains so many video game easter eggs that fans of the franchise will have plenty to appreciate. While I had heard that Cregger had reduced the amount of humor, the film is still surprisingly funny. The comedy never completely disappears, even when the movie is focused on being genuinely frightening. Austin Abrams , known for Weapons  and Euphoria , carries much of the film as Bryan. The audience spends nearly the entire movie with him, and fortunately, Abrams has the charisma and delivery to make even his smaller moments entertaining. There is something about the way he performs the character that makes you smile, even when the situation around him is becoming increasingly terrifying. He g...

Runner is directed by Scott Waugh , the same director who brought us Act of Valor and Expendables 4 , and he knows how to handle action. The action is well directed, and the editing is tight enough that the movie never feels unnecessarily drawn out. The film is pretty straightforward, but it knows what it wants to be and delivers a fun action movie without overstaying its welcome. Alan Ritchson tries to branch out from the role of the giant who beats people up, but he doesn't get very far away from it. He's clearly capable of playing more than the typical physically imposing action hero, but this movie still leans heavily into what he's already known for. Owen Wilson , meanwhile, basically plays himself, or at least a character very similar to the one he played in Wedding Crashers . If you've seen Wilson in that type of role before, you know exactly what you're getting. Rodrigo Santoro , who most people will probably recognize from 300 , plays the main villain. H...

Hope is directed by Na Hong-jin , the same director who brought us The Wailing , and it has a similarly interesting approach to suspense. The story itself is intriguing, but the editing desperately needed some work. The pacing can be all over the place, which makes some sections feel much longer than they need to be. The comedy also comes completely out of nowhere, considering most of the movie is built around suspense and action. Some of it works, but the tonal shifts can be pretty jarring. Hwang Jung-min's character has the best arc in the movie. His character actually changes throughout the story, and watching that progression is one of the film's strongest elements. Ho-yeon's character, she was in Squid Game, on the other hand, is great from the beginning and doesn't really have much growth. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it makes the contrast between the two characters' arcs pretty noticeable. Zo In-sung, known from Netflix show  It's Okay,...

Buddy is written and directed by Casper Kelly , who is better known as an Adult Swim writer. That probably explains why this type of film is right up his alley. The movie tries to be funny, but it tries way too hard. At the same time, it tries to be a horror movie but doesn't try nearly hard enough. It feels like the whole premise is being pushed to its extreme primarily to create something that could go viral rather than because the story actually has anywhere meaningful to go. Cristin Milioti is the main actress in the film, and while she's definitely charismatic, her performance feels a bit overdramatic at times. The child actors are all fine with one exception, although none of them really stand out enough to make much of an impression. Topher Grace is another example of the horrible male characters we've gotten in a long line of that particular trope throughout the 2020s. I can't wait to see what comes next in that line of writing. At this point, it's almos...

Onslaught is a grindhouse action/horror movie, and I had no idea it was going to turn into a slasher until about five minutes in. Adam Wingard , a V/H/S alumni, writes and directs, and while the action can be pretty good at times, it's also flawed in some pretty obvious ways. The biggest problem is the plot armor given to the heroine. Why can these super soldiers hit everyone else just fine, but suddenly can't hit her? It makes some of the action feel less exciting when you know the movie is going to bend the rules to keep her alive. Adria Arjona spends the majority of the movie dressed like she's headed to Walmart, but somehow she doesn't look bad. Few people could probably pull off an outfit like that and still make it work. She does a decent job in the role, even if the character is clearly protected by the script whenever the action gets going. Dan Stevens has a great cameo, and Reginald VelJohnson brings his classic acting chops to the movie. Drew Starkey pla...

The Runner is directed by Kevin Macdonald and written by Mark Gibson , and it starts off incredibly cringe. Considering Gibson's past work, that isn't exactly surprising, but the camera work and directing choices are all over the place as well. The premise itself is already pretty unrealistic, and the movie does very little to make it believable. It also doesn't help that the pacing makes the whole thing feel much longer than it actually is. Gal Gadot's portrayal of a mother is so awful that I started wondering if she's ever actually interacted with her own children. There are moments where she runs with decent form, but then there are other times when she's running all limp-wristed, exactly as you'd expect someone who clearly isn't a runner to run. More importantly, her character is incredibly difficult to take seriously. Even though she has a kidnapped child, she still acts like she should be bossing the kidnapper around. It doesn't feel like a...

Coyote vs. Acme is directed by Dave Green , and this is easily his best work to date. Some of that credit belongs to Samy Burch , the Oscar-nominated writer whose screenplay gives the film enough personality to keep it entertaining. All that praise aside, Coyote vs. Acme is fun but ultimately nothing particularly special. The film is appropriately silly for a Looney Tunes movie, but the pacing is its biggest problem. At 103 minutes, it feels noticeably longer than it needs to be, and cutting it down to around 90 to 95 minutes would have made the movie considerably tighter. Will Forte is easily the best casting choice in the film. He fits the comedic tone perfectly and brings the right amount of energy to a movie that depends heavily on its absurdity. John Cena , on the other hand, is easily the worst casting choice. His performance is so wooden that it feels like he's barely trying, and he seems to be phoning it in throughout most of the movie. It's especially noticeable wh...